Members gonelemon Posted February 19, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 It wasn’t sudden, we never were told exactly what was wrong with him. Some called it atypical Parkinsons or extrapyramidal syndrome, also he had type II diabetes. He was two months short of being 75 and this had been going on for a few years , though the last year he was basically bed-ridden and over the past six months he kept on getting fluid in his lungs and infections he just could not get rid of, in spite of the fact he got the best of care. In the end he was fed via a tube in his stomach and I think that just did it for him, as my father really loved his food..... Now he was even deprived of the taste of it, never mind the swallowing.I was the apple of his eye. My mother and sisters are just all over the place, can’t stop crying. Whereas I have only really cried once. In a way I knew this was what was coming, but I don’t understand why the grief isn’t more overwhelming. It’s going to be a week tomorrow and the funeral was on Monday (I gave a speech).....has it still not kicked in? Has the worst yet to come? I honestly don’t know what to think.I had done a lot of grieving before he passed and the way he was at the end, no one would have wished for him to carry on... But is this reaction normal?Love and strength to you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ibarnard Posted February 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 My dad passed on Feb 4th and I'm so depressed. It doesn't see real to me either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gonelemon Posted February 20, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 My question is, are you grieving? Because my sister are definitely crying all over the place, whereas I can't seem to get it out. Sometimes I have painful thoughts at night, I conjure up his face , I whisper his name and of course I feel awful, but I don't feel like I am properly grieving and since it's been a week, it seems quite a long time for the grieving process not to have started when it was in no way a sudden death.Needless to say he hadn't been himself over the past year or two and as I said was mostly be-ridden for the last. But I loved and admired him beyond belief, I just don't understand....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ibarnard Posted February 20, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 I feel numb and depressed. Mixed emotions. Sometimes grief comes later once you begin to miss the person which sometimes can be worse. Its called delayed grief. Its possible also that you could feel a sense of relief and peace knowing that his pain is now over and he is safe and resting which is completely normal. Especially if you saw him sick for so long. Its also possible that your mind understands he is gone but doesn't completely accept it for you to grieve which is a defense mechanism your mind sets up to protect you from intense emotional pain. I know this because I lost my sister tragically 2 years ago and now my father. My sister was 42 and my father was 69. Both too young to die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gonelemon Posted February 20, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Thanks Iba, he was really bad for the last yr at least and I think being a proud man, the humiliation he had to face wearing diapers etc was pretty tough. Now I feel he was at the end of his life cycle and has found peace, I don't think he would have wanted to carry on.... I know I wouldn't have, not like that: I hope mine won't be a delayed grief cause I've suffered enough over this; though I will always miss him and always feel him guiding me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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