Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

My Father Died in December


Nate

Recommended Posts

  • Members

My father died December1, 2014. He was 86 and while not expected (got a viral infection) we ended up having about 5 days with him when he and us knew he was going to die. He died at home with my mom holding his hand....Seven days before his death, he spoke for an hour to us about how satisfied he was with his life and had no regrets.

The Friday before he died, we had a chance to sit and talk with him again even though he could barely speak. My brother and I carried him to bed and his last words to me after I said "I love you pop" were "I love you  too". The next day before he went to sleep, since he was not on morphine etc he was cognizant of us and all we said. He hand motioned to mom for us to come sit on the bed by him...We told funny stories of our youth and the things we did...he smiled alot at them. I then asked mom to leave the room and got a chance to say everything I wanted to him..what I was sorry for and what I admired about him. He passed away 48 hours later. I cried the first week. But after that I felt good, I stopped crying..... and I know why.

I was lucky.....I have no regrets. I left nothing unsaid, I loved his last words. He lived a good life with my mom for a 55 year marriage. Though I miss him, I dont feel that "grief" because there is nothing more we could have or he could have done to have a more full and satisfied life.

his death was a fulfillment of an increible life and love of his family. He left with a life complete and a satisfaction for it.

I miss my father, but I dont grieve for the loss of my father because I know he is no longer old and dealing with the loss of his physical self. He is free of that. And even more so I regret nothing.

 

So now I call my mom each day and we work to get her through her grief for my father. And I know when she leaves this earth, I will be okay too. She will be with Dad and I will not leave things unsaid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Seven days before his death, he spoke for an hour to us about how satisfied he was with his life and had no regrets.

I was lucky.....I have no regrets. I left nothing unsaid, I loved his last words.

his death was a fulfillment of an increible life and love of his family. He left with a life complete and a satisfaction for it.

Thank you for sharing. I too had the chance to say goodbye. Like your father, my mother had "a good death." As if we could all be so lucky as to get to the end of our lives and know that we have lived a good life, with no regrets. It makes a big difference. There is still sadness and grief with their passing... But there is also some peace. All the best to you!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you Nate

 

This really moved me. I am in the middle of grieving my father, a postponed reaction, and seeing your story gave me some hope. I was with my father in the end, with my mother and sister. He was sedated, and could not speak, but we were there with him. I too feel we got to say goodbye. He is definitely in a better place. I miss him, though, for he was the person I could ask for help on almost anything.

 

I feel with you, and I'm glad to hear the grief and sorrow has passed for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.