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Lost my Dad, lost part of me


Thumbelina

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I lost my Dad a month ago today from renal failure, and I am so lost in feelings of guilt of not being there by his side when he passed, sadness in the loss of someone I idolised, sorrow in losing someone I loved with every part of my being, and such overwhelming pain that at times I can barely breathe...I have lost a part of me that no-one can ever give me back and I am struggling in dealing with life in general and all that comes with it...I am a spiritual person (not religious) but even my spirit is struggling with my belief system (head knowledge) and my heart (feelings) not being in sync...does anyone have any suggestions of how I face what I need to (I have a family and still have my mum, in a nursing home with dementia) on a daily basis???

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I am so sorry for your loss.  In reading your post and seeing that you are a spiritual person, I just know that you'll get through this difficult time.  I am also a spiritual person (not religious) and when I lost my mom, and then 11 months later my dad I really drew on my spirituality.  I prayed for comfort and the lifting of my oh so heavy heart.  The good Lord provided that comfort by reminding me how blessed I am to have had them for parents.  Through the pain of my losses, I could see the blessings ... how much my parents loved me, how they raised me and taught me such good values and morals, all of the good times we had as a family, and on and on.  There are too many blessings to mention here.

 

That all being said, I continue to grieve these losses but I am able to carry on with my life just as they would want me to do.  When I have those moments of sadness and tears I realize that it is because I miss them so much but then I start to think about where they both are right now and that they are together again and surrounded by the loved ones who were taken to the Kingdom before them.  

 

What helped me the most through all of this was relying on my faith and focusing on the blessings.  I hope this helps.

 

take care

Cindy Jane

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