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My mother is dying as i write this


Mafuane

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She's downstairs. Last night I stayed up with her to listen to her breathing but today I just couldn't take looking at her in her sick bed, so helpless and different from the strong woman I knew. 

 

This is so painful. I knew it was coming, I was told about six months ago that her brain tumour was incurable however I was in deep denial. Now I have to face the fact that I will be living the rest of my life without my mother, she won't see me get married, have kids etc. My friends and boyfriend don't know what to say or to support me. I feel frustrated and angry. I can't explain to them how this feels. My family has locked themselves away. I feel very lonely.

 

I don't know how I can deal with this, especially now at Christmas. I'm always going to remember christmas as this time of sorrow.

 

Thanks for reading... 

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Mafuane,

I am so very sorry your family and your mother are going through this. I know it's difficult to listen to her breathe and see her struggling, but you will be so happy you were there for her. 

Christmas will be tough for you from this point forth, but you will eventually find a way to celebrate your mother's life at this time of year. 

 

We will be here for you, 

 

ModKonnie

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As someone who has sat beside my mother's bedside in her final days and heard the sound of her breathing as she slowly left us, I'm sending hugs to you now. I'm so very sorry for you all. It is heartbreaking, and emotionally exhausting, to see the one you love in such a moment. Just know, you are not alone. As a dear friend told me, in this very same moment, it is life altering to watch someone die. Some are not strong enough to handle it. I choose to be with my mother, holding her hand as she left this life. It was hard, but I talked with her and told her that it was time to go. It was ok. She passed very peacefully and I am ever grateful for that.

Your family will struggle. Find support in other ways, friends, counsellors, etc... Give them time and be kind to each other. My mom passed just a few weeks before Christmas. For the past few years, I've had a hard time with the holiday - turned off the music, tried my best just to get through it. But that's starting to change. I'm remembering the good times together. The love. It will be the same for you. But, it will take time.

God bless you and your family.

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HUGS, I am so sorry that you are going through this.  

 

My mom left us a little over a year ago.  She was sick in the hospital for 6 weeks prior to her passing.  I spent every day with her during those final weeks and days.  Even though I knew what was coming I was still in shock when she passed on.  I wasn't there at the moment that my mom passed away but my sister was.  Then 3 months ago my dad had a heart attack and I raced to the hospital when I got the call.  They set up a cot in his room and I was there for 30 hours until he passed away.  Watching both parents at the end of their lives was tough but in looking back, I am so grateful that I had that time with them.  I was with my dad when he took his last breath and as with Bailey's experience with his mother, I also told my dad that he is about to go on an incredible journey and that he would be reunited with my mom who we lost only 11 months earlier.  His breathing remained shallow as I talked to him.  Then I told him what a great dad he's been, a great husband, a wonderful friend to many, and just a really good man.  Then I told him that my sister, brother and I will miss him very much until we meet again, and that we would all be OK ... after I said that my dad took his last breath.  I believe deep in my heart that my dad needed to hear that us kids would be ok before his passing.

 

The reason I share this is because if you can, take this opportunity to talk to your dear mom, even if you don't think she can hear you.  Tell her how much you love her and anything that comes to your heart.  Even though my dad was non responsive I know for a fact he heard every word I said to him that night.  Your mom will hear you too.  

 

Take care 

Cindy Jane 

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I believe deep in my heart that my dad needed to hear that us kids would be ok before his passing.

The reason I share this is because if you can, take this opportunity to talk to your dear mom, even if you don't think she can hear you. Tell her how much you love her and anything that comes to your heart. Even though my dad was non responsive I know for a fact he heard every word I said to him that night. Your mom will hear you too.

I can't agree more. We had a very similar experience. My mom had been unresponsive for days. We sat by her bedside and listened to her breathe for days. And then, she opened her eyes. We each took our turn to talk with her, to tell her that we loved her, that she had been a good mother and that we would miss her, but it was time for her to go and we would be ok. Very shortly after we finished, her breathing slowed and she passed very peacefully. I believe that she gave us a gift - she said goodbye. And, we were able to give her permission to start her next journey. It's terribly hard to do, but I'm glad that I did it. I think she needed it, as did I. So, my best advice is to spend time with your mom - talk to her. Tell her how you feel, tell her that you love her, and give her permission to go.

God bless.

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I am so sorry you are going through this . I just spent this last week watching my mother die. I was by her side when she took her last breath on Christmas day. The pain I feel is all Consumming. I don't know how to not have her in my life . How I will never here her voice or her laugh or see her beautiful smile . It's a struggle Noone can understand unless they have gone through it.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the exact way that your feeling. I was staying up at night making sure my mother was okay. I was the one that was with my mother when she took her last breath. I had time to think about if I wanted to be there when she did or not. I wasn't sure if I wanted even when it did happen but now thinking about it I'm still unsure if I wanted to but I'm glad I was there, she had choose to share her last breaths with me alone. Not sure if she had a reason why it was with me or not but I like to think she did. The same thoughts have come over me the way she won't be there to experience important times in my life where you would want your mother there. Having support from family and friends is nice but without them having the same experience you have had they won't truely know how it feels.

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