Members direbeta Posted November 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 It's been just over five months now and every day seems harder than the day before it. I know people always say that it gets better or easier as time goes on, but it hasn't for me, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know my mom wouldn't want me to still grieve for her like this but it seems like I can't do anything else. I was an only child and my mom hadn't been sick. We had gone to see a movie together just a few hours before she passed away and I never had the chance to say goodbye to her. I never had the chance to say a lot of things to her and it's one of my biggest regrets in life. Most days just getting out of bed seems like the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Most days I don't care if I wake up in the morning or not. Most days I wish I didn't wake up. I'm not suicidal, but I feel like it could very easily get to that point because I've just... Stopped caring. I've lost hope. I've lost ambition. I've lost everything with her passing. Today I made the first steps to reach out for help and set up an appointment with a therapist, but she can't see me until March and I have no idea what to do until then. I reached out to a crisis hotline earlier and they recommended this website and I'm hoping that being here will help me because I really don't know what else to do anymore, but I know I can't keep living like this. The grief is going to end up killing me if I don't do something about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BaileyB Posted November 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Dire beta, I just want to start by saying that I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I too have lost my mother, we just passed the three year anniversary.They say that grief peaks at six months. To be fair, I think it takes quite a while to work through the shock of a death. I personally found my grief was very bad around the first anniversary... So you are definitely still in the hardest time of this grieving process... Please take heart, it will get better. It will always be with you, but it does get better.It is good however hear that you have reached out to a counsellor. Unfortunately, that is a long time to wait. If there is nobody who can see you sooner, you may want to find someone else to talk... A pastor, a grief support group, a friend. I personally believe that we don't need to say everything to our loved ones at the end... I think we live our lives in such a way that they know that we love them. But, if you feel that you have hings you want to say... I suggest that you tell her. I pray and talk to my mom all the time... You could also write her a letter. Sometimes it helps just to get those words out. I personally kept a journal and it helps me tremendously. I wish you all the best. Take care in this journey. And keep talking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annbeth Posted November 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2014 Hi Newbie,I lost my best friend, mom, June 2009, she had bile, liver cancer and we lost her in five months. I have her everyday in my thoughts, memories, songs, conversations in my head, the butterflies I see, my hummingbird friends, the breath that I take! Nothing can replace my sorrow and loss! I just feel her every day, every breath, every sunset, every funny thing my kids do! I need to feel her and how much I miss her, it helps me. I just know she is with me, so I keep sharing my life with her. I love my mom! If you want a friend, I would love to have one! Because, I need one too!Never, ever, posted anywhere, before today, I feel your pain.Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annbeth Posted November 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2014 This is Beth, you can call me, 707-321-6456. I'm just a normal daughter who lost their Mom. I'm 49 years young, I have a wonderful husband and three great kids! Just one still home a senior. I have two great sisters we support each other daily, I have tons of time and would love to chat, share, help, you would really help me as well! I had the same thoughts as you, I acted on them and I'm so grateful it didn't work! However, I still understand my pain, and I have to focus on what mom would expect of me, and the mother I need to be! She was so great, I can only hope to give what she gave to me.Call me,Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annbeth Posted November 18, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2014 Sorry, 707-332-6456...typo, Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tete8325 Posted November 26, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I lost my mom four months ago suddenly it has been very hard to cope with I have had episodes of crying depression and weakness were so it's effecting my job and my relationship my BF have seen so many diffrent sides of me emotionally that he don't no how to handle me in which he went into a major depression today he decided he wants out of the relationship because of my strange behavior he makes me feel like I should be finshed grieving and should move past my mom death I try to tell him I'm hurting inside but he shows no sympathy he was said to me I need to get over it my mom not the only one that has died I felt it was very cold but maybe he saying that to help me cope... So being that I still cry n worry he say it's the devil n I have demons but I no its just pain I was close to her... At this point it may be best for him to leave but then I might fall into a even deeper depression of losing someone again so right now I'm just a mess n want to get back to normal before my depression take control of my life but how I pray but it's just painful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tete8325 Posted November 26, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I lost my mom four months ago suddenly it has been very hard to cope with I have had episodes of crying depression and weakness were so it's effecting my job and my relationship my BF have seen so many diffrent sides of me emotionally that he don't no how to handle me in which he went into a major depression today he decided he wants out of the relationship because of my strange behavior he makes me feel like I should be finshed grieving and should move past my mom death I try to tell him I'm hurting inside but he shows no sympathy he was said to me I need to get over it my mom not the only one that has died I felt it was very cold but maybe he saying that to help me cope... So being that I still cry n worry he say it's the devil n I have demons but I no its just pain I was close to her... At this point it may be best for him to leave but then I might fall into a even deeper depression of losing someone again so right now I'm just a mess n want to get back to normal before my depression take control of my life but how I pray but it's just painful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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