Members JeanMihalick Posted November 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2014 Today is my birthday although it's far from happy. I miss my happy birthday song phone call. Instead of getting easier it seems to be getting harder as the holidays get closer. I spent most of the day in tears. I feel so lost, also have no one to really talk to as people are tired of hearing me and think I should be over it by now, even though it's less then 2 months since she left me. I found some papers that had her signature on and just kept touching hers and crying. Seems like my husband doesn't care, he spent the day with his mom today. That was like plunging a dagger into my heart, so I went for lunch by myself and shopping a little. I really don't feel like anyone cares how depressed I am. The only time I function fairly normally is at work, good thing I'm working 7 days a week I guess. I'm not suicidal, just don't feel like I want to go on with things the way they are. I really hate my life right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted November 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2014 Hi Jean So sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time with your loss ... you are not alone. It's only been a couple of short months since your mom passed on and those feelings of great sadness are very normal. I am convinced that unless someone loses a parent they really don't get it and I don't hold that against them because the truth is that prior to losing my mom and dad any time a friend of mine lost a parent I would give my sincere condolence and felt bad for that friend, but I didn't have a clue of the pain they went through until I lost my mom last year, and then my dad 2 months ago. Now I understand and although I was sincere before in my condolences .... I am sincere to the core now when someone suffers such a loss. It's one of those things that you have to go through to really understand. So try not to be too hard on your husband. I also find that our deep sadness sometimes makes people uncomfortable because really, nothing they can say or do takes away the sadness our loss. Not sure if this makes sense, just trying to understand other people. I also am not looking forward to Christmas and New Years this year but I just know that my parents would want me to keep on going and live my life the best that I can. They would want me to be the best sister, best auntie, best employee, best friend that I can be. I decided to pick up shifts over Christmas (work at a hospital) and will try to bring peace and comfort to the patients during the holidays. I've been finding that when I give to others (kindness and love) it somehow brings me comfort when I am feeling sad about my parents. Not sure if that makes any sense either but this has been my experience. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO (((YOU))) and go with the tears when the waves of loneliness for your mom hits. It is a testimony of the love you have for her ... and her for you. Our spirits have been crushed and I believe that one day they will be lifted but it will take time. Take care Cindy Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Karenf920 Posted November 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2014 Hi Jean....I know exactly how you feel. I hate my life right now as well. I lost my mom 2 weeks ago and I'm in a constant state of loneliness, confusion, and depression. I too don't want to go on with things...it seems 2 weeks ago my life ended and it paused....not sure when the play button will engage again. I'm so lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeanMihalick Posted November 13, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 I hate hearing of anyone who looses their mom. I'm laying in bed crying, I miss her so much. This is a nightly occurance for me. I just want to run away, everything here reminds me of her, and still dealing with insurance and stuff isn't helping any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jenacuad Posted November 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 Well first off I want to say I am sorry for your loss ladies I know all to well what your going thru I live it everyday and it is not easy i too lost my father almost a month ago and it is really the hardest bump I've ever hit my father was my best friend and I feel angry I feel like it's not fair my father was only 51 im only 26 and I have a brother who is only 21 it is so diffcult I too feel like running away I too feel like my fiancé doesn't understand but it's like you say till he goes thru a loss of a parent he wont understand my pain and I cant get mad at him because he doesn't know this pain and I pray he doesn't have to experience this for a long long time I feel cheated of time with my father and everyday is a new struggle the holidays are around the corner and I just want disappear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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