Just a rant: People SUCK!!!!

[SufferingSucks]

I'm just really pissed off at everything. People suck! My mother passed away on the 7th of April of this year. A month after my 18th birthday. Everything has gone to ****. My dad treats me like ****, always expects me to clean and take care of everything, and when I don't, he threatens to kick me out. A few weeks ago my brother and I spent a night in a refuge because my dad kicked us out. If my mum was still alive she wouldn't have let this happen. Life seems so much harder now. Not just emotionally, but, like, nobody gives a damn! People cared when it came to the funeral, but they stopped caring afterwards. It's almost as if I have to remind people about my mothers death. It pisses me off. I'm not the same person! I dropped out of school, lost all motivation, lost the will to live! Death doesn't seem scary to me anymore! Every dream I have with my mum in it, is like a blight. Reliving the whole scenario where I had to watch her on life support. It sucks. I'm not spiritual at all and it's not comforting when people give me the whole "she's watching over you" crap. F*** that ****. If god does exist, he is a cunt! Oh, and not to mention, people suck!??! I had an "internet friend" of mine make a 'yo momma' joke (well, it wasn't a direct joke, I was impersonating someone and yeah), and when I told her "that's not cool", she sent me a bracelet in the mail and expects everything to "be all better". I don't give a damn! I have split thinking. Either you're a good person, or a bad person. Actually, scratch that, EVERYONE SUCKS! I can't stand people. Sorry I just had to rant! I hate this ****! Sometimes death doesn't seem that scary at all! I'm not suicidal but I wouldn't mind dying. Ever since my mum has died I've just realised how much of a shithole this world really is. 4 billion years of evolution for this?! For people to complain about their favourite TV character dying in a sitcom? Seriously? I just see how futile this whole game of life thing is. Everything, and everyone SUCKS.  Sorry for the rant I just had to get this off my chest. 

[cindyjane]

Hi .... I am so sorry about the loss of your mum.  I lost both parents in less than a year and know your pain.  I am also sorry that you are going through all of this stuff with your dad.  I make no excuses for anyone in this life but I have seen how the loss of a loved one affects everyone differently....some people get angry, some get really depressed, some isolate from others, some are in denial,  and some even become jovial.  Yes, I said jovial!  My aunt lost her son to suicide a couple of years ago and she spoke and acted like everything was la la happy and wonderful.  I think that was her way of dealing with the sad circumstances of his death.  

 

It is obvious in your post that you are angry and that is ok depending on how you deal with that anger.  You see when I lost my parents I was angry also and had the same experience that you had in people caring right after their passing.  Lots of phone calls, hugs and condolences but that stopped shortly after.  Funny though because the only true comfort that I got with the anger, sadness, loneliness that I felt was from the very ONE who you called a name .... GOD.  Although I don't like what you said about God who has been my main comfort, I am glad that you came here and posted.  I can see that you are hurting because of the huge loss of your mum and that tells me that underneath the anger, there is a lot of love in you.  I really hope that your heart lightens soon and that you can see other people and God in a different light.  Until then just know that there are people out there who really truly do care.

Cindy Jane

 

 

[Wildirishrose]

Aw Newbie, that is a tough break to lose your mom so young. People your age don't know what to do and say. People my age don't either! Just trust me it gets better. Get your life squared away, get out of the house and start a life. You will always miss her, but it will get better.