Members JeanMihalick Posted September 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 It's two weeks tomorrow I lost mom. My dad died in 1974 and my step dad in 2011. I'm married with kids but I feel so alone. Feel like I lost my best friend because I did. Didn't see her as much as I should have but we talked daily. I was there at the hospital almost constantly from Thursday until she passed on Monday. I hate when my mother in law calls, hate that mil never even sent a card or told me how sorry she was for my loss. No one wants to talk about how I'm feeling so I cry in bed alone. Right now I seriously don't see how I'm going to get past or through this. I just want to drink to numb or dull the pain. I just can't deal with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dickie's Girl Posted September 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted September 30, 2014 Hi Jean,It's after midnight here on the east coast, and I see I'm not the only one who's losing sleep over losing a parent. I lost my Dad a month ago, and it hurts like it happened this morning. First, let me say how sorry I am about your loss; I would not wish this pain on anyone. I also identified with a few of your comments - mainly the mil - and the feeling that noone truly cares about the loss of the first man in my life. My mil sent a card, but never called or visited, and I feel like people are avoiding me like the plague. My bro-in-law, who's my hubby's best friend and has always been close to us, didn't even come to the celebration, and still has not addressed this loss verbally with me. Did they forget what it was like when they lost their parents?The other thing I identified with was your comment about drinking. Please don't. My husband drank four years of grief away when his Dad passed, and it nearly destroyed our family. We have a beautiful daughter, and I'm still worried about the scars we both carry. I've thought of doing the same thing - anything to avoid the pain. But I just know that I can't sink into the pond, or it will finish us all off.Please know that your feelings are completely valid, but somehow, you must get the strength to deal with the pain head-on. Do you have children? I see my Dad in my daughter, and it makes me smile when I see her do or say something that Dad would have said. I find comfort in the reminders, instead of grief. It's not easy - believe me - but it does help to look into the future of what my Dad helped create. She wouldn't be here without me, and I wouldn't be here with him.I hope it helps to know that, even a few states away, someone understands your pain.God Bless you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mydeepestthoughts Posted October 1, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I would like to extend my deepest condolences to both of you. Our greatest enemy is death, it's finger touches all of us, adding to our pain can be the response of those we think should understand and support us. I would like to share a Message of hope that helped me when I lost the love of my life, My mother. It's a promise that the greatest man who lived on earth gave us. . It's at John 5:28,29 which reads- Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice. And come out. ..Can this promise really be fulfilled? Can we see our dead loved ones again, does the bible teach that dead loved ones go to heaven? Please click on the link below to get answers that provide real comfort. . Once again. . My condolenceshttp://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeanMihalick Posted October 1, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I have a 15 year old son who is hurting over this too. I'm trying to figure out how to be strong for him when I'm falling apart. I know how bad drinking is for me, and I know the state I'm in right now stopping would not be an option, so I won't even have just one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Janya Posted October 1, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I'm right here with you all - feeling the pain. We can deal with this even if it feels so much like we can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pinkbaggirl Posted October 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Hi Jean,It's after midnight here on the east coast, and I see I'm not the only one who's losing sleep over losing a parent. I lost my Dad a month ago, and it hurts like it happened this morning. First, let me say how sorry I am about your loss; I would not wish this pain on anyone. I also identified with a few of your comments - mainly the mil - and the feeling that noone truly cares about the loss of the first man in my life. My mil sent a card, but never called or visited, and I feel like people are avoiding me like the plague. My bro-in-law, who's my hubby's best friend and has always been close to us, didn't even come to the celebration, and still has not addressed this loss verbally with me. Did they forget what it was like when they lost their parents?The other thing I identified with was your comment about drinking. Please don't. My husband drank four years of grief away when his Dad passed, and it nearly destroyed our family. We have a beautiful daughter, and I'm still worried about the scars we both carry. I've thought of doing the same thing - anything to avoid the pain. But I just know that I can't sink into the pond, or it will finish us all off.Please know that your feelings are completely valid, but somehow, you must get the strength to deal with the pain head-on. Do you have children? I see my Dad in my daughter, and it makes me smile when I see her do or say something that Dad would have said. I find comfort in the reminders, instead of grief. It's not easy - believe me - but it does help to look into the future of what my Dad helped create. She wouldn't be here without me, and I wouldn't be here with him.I hope it helps to know that, even a few states away, someone understands your pain.God Bless you and your family.My dad also died on August 30th. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.