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Having trouble grieving


Kgirl2510

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My father passed away Friday, after randomly slipping away in his sleep Thursday. He'd been in the ICU and his heart kept beating through the use of medications and a machine kept him breathing. He had no brain activity. We finally had to let him go and be humane.

I'm 24 and the oldest sibling in my family. With my mom upset and my time siblings not understanding, I feel like I'm the outlier. I'm not able to cry or feel the gravity of the loss yet. Has this happened to anyone else before?

Meanwhile, I'm annoyed at little things, set on edge and ready to snap at unimportant, trivial occurrences. Everything bugs me. I'm even getting impatient and annoyed with my family, which is terrible. I get mad when I see people twice my age with both of their parents. This doesn't feel real.

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Hi, I am so sorry for your loss.  In losing my mom this past October and my dad last Wednesday I have to say that I believe that we all go through the grieving process differently.  We have such an array of feelings and they all bubble up in the days, weeks and months following losing a parent.  I say, just go with the flow and feel whatever you are feeling.  Don't worry about the tears, they will come at some point if they are meant to flow.  I also experienced those feelings of being on edge and short with others.  I don't think there is a right or wrong way to grieve ... nor a time frame.  We are all different and so are our circumstances.  For now I would say to take care of YOU.  I can really relate to you saying "this doesn't feel real."  It sure doesn't and I think that is because life as we know it stops and there is no going back.  Gratefully though we have our memories and those are what brings me comfort.  Take care

 

Cindy Jane

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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

I think what you are feeling is quite normal. I would say that you are still in shock and this will last for some time. Don't worry if what you feel is not as you think grief should feel. Especially when you are still in shock after a sudden passing. In time, you will begin to experience more feelings and it is important to let them out.

And yes, I was very annoyed by little things for a very long time. Somehow, the little annoyances of life just don't seem to matter the same and they are very annoying when you have suffered something so profound as your loss. Just try to be patient, let things go, and take things easy for a while.

All the best to you and your family... It is a long journey and you are at the very beginning...

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