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Lost Father to Suicide, Can't Cope


sally_beans

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I never truly understood depression until my Dad killed himself. I always thought it was some dramatic way of making it "okay" to just not give a ****. That somehow putting a label on your behavior gave some sort of justification that made it "okay" to act that way. Well, little did I know, I had no freaking clue what I was talking about. Depression is VERY real and it does take over your life in many ways that you are physically unable to get over. Some days it takes me over so badly, with questions of why, and what could I have done differently? What could I have done to help my Dad? Probably nothing. Aside from having him committed, there's nothing that would've prevented this from happening. But, you never would've thought he needed help. Hell, you never would've thought in a million years that he had been experiencing such dark thoughts. There were no warning signs. No bouts of anger or excessive upset. He was just, Dad. Loving, caring, and an honorable man of God. He was stronger than anyone ever gave him credit for. He was incredible. I don't know what is going to come of my life, or how I'm going to get over this, but what I do know, is I have to get control of my life back. I'm making the decision to own my own life again. His burdens have to be taken off my shoulders. The weight is unbearable.

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Grieving daughter

I just lost my dad to suicide also October 4th of this year. He was such a happy man. He had lost his business and we had thought that everything was going to be OK. I feel how you feel---didn't see the warning signs coming. I have regret and feel the same way that you do. I try to get through the days minute by minute. Picking up my life and moving forward just seems unbearable. I wish I could have done something different to see the pain he must have felt in his heart.

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