Lost my dad

[Lostwithoutyou051113]

My dad died on August 14, 2014 of bladder cancer. I am having a very hard time dealing with his death. I have been keeping everything inside because people kept telling me that I have to be the strong one for my mom. I know I have every right to grieve and it seems to others that I have no right to. I am the only one planning the memorial service that is on the 6th of next month. I just want my dad back.

[marianakozakxo]

i lost my dad 4 years ago as well.

We didn't plan the memorial service, we got our uncles and aunts to do it.

Sometimes its just too hard for the immediately family to participate in something this hard.

No one wants to bury a family member.

You have every right to grieve. Everyone grieves in a different way.

You are being strong by taking the lead on planning his memorial. Maybe sit and have a talk with your family, make it aware, we are all in the same boat, we all lost someone we love dearly, but i need your help to plan this memorial. Tell them you can't do it alone. and you don't want to do it alone.

 

I miss my dad every day and wish he were still here. But you will see as hard as it is to say, days get better.

Your dad does not want to see you sad forever. Grieve, and take as long as you need to grieve. But then when you are ready continue living. Your dad wants to see you continue to live with or without him.

 

I am sorry for your lose.

Your dad will be truly missed.

Think of all the great memories you've shared with him.

He will be proud of you that you are taking lead and control.

[bepositive]

My prayers are with you as you deal with your loss and everything that comes with it.  i think "well intentioned" people say be strong as a way to say hang in there or keep going forward.  For some reason when a person doesn't cry or show emotion, many conclude that the person is handling it well.  It often makes others around them feel better and less worried.  it comes from a good place but isn't the best thing to say.  Don't suppress your feeling. Feel whatever you want to feel whether in public or private.   Not sure if you are a reader of the Bible but King David mourned the loss of his son. In fact he wept with very great weeping.  Even Jesus cried publicly.  Grief is a normal and necessary part of the healing process.  Don's suppress your feelings but find strength (in the long run) by allowing yourself to feel and express.  if you need to talk I am here.