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Lost my father 9 mos ago


Tracer

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Hello, I'm new here and just looking for a place to talk with others on dealing with the loss of a parent. Dad took his life in Oct., I found him, and I am having a terrible time shaking that image and getting on with life. I feel so numb and in a fog. Tried counseling but didn't seem to help much. Any suggestions?

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Hi Tracer,

I am very sorry about the loss of your father. It must have been a terrible traumatic experience to deal with what you have had to deal with.a

What kind of counselor did you see? A grief counselor or one for PTSD? Have you tried group therapy or a self help group? Those really do help. Also, writing about your feelings or just talking about them can help. One thing that works for me, and I'm not an expert is to mentally tell myself STOP when the bad images/thoughts come to mind and then I replace those thoughts or images with a happier one.

I know it doesn't sound like much help, but time will also lessen the severe pain and agony of losing a precious loved one.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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Hi Tracer ... I am so sorry about your loss.  I lost my mom 10 months ago and I have to say that this was the toughest thing I've been through in my life.  I believe it is always tougher when we lose someone through suicide because it sometimes leaves many unanswered questions. 

 

I still have images of my mom in the hospital slowly dying over a 6 week period.  Those images come up out of nowhere when I least expect them.  What I started doing was thinking about the good times throughout my life with my mom (all of the good memories).  In doing that, when those images came up I was able to quickly go back to the good times with my mom.  I don't know if those last weeks of my mom's life will ever leave me but as time goes by they are less and don't stay in my mind for long.  I would suggest to spend some time thinking about the good times with your dad.  I know that is also a tough thing to do but they are good memories and for me, it feels better to think of those, than to think about my mom's last weeks.  I hope this helps.  Take care.

Cindy Jane

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Thanks everyone for the replies. It is so hard to let go of a parent, I mean they have been with us all of our lives. The fact that he chose suicide makes it so much harder. It was totally unexpected, though we knew it was a possibility at some point. He didn't want to be a burden on anyone and he wasn't. My counselor was through work and she does specialize in grief counseling but we just are not getting very far in the process. I feel like I have wasted a lot of time working with her and things should be some better by now. I've just started experiencing triggers and those are a real set back for me. Anyway, thanks again. Take care.

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Hi,

I also lost my father .... last month to suicide ... the worst part is I dont have a mom technology either before my dad passed she left us for 8 years... and now she is trying to take us from our grandma.. believe me I know it hurts I also was very close to my dad im only 15 and lost both my parents. For my birthday im getting a tattoo for my dad and I hope he will me happy with it so just do things to keep your mind off it me personally I dont think I can ever let go of my daddy

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Emobunny sorry for your loss, and at such a young age too. Very sad. I wish you strength through all this. You have a lot going on to be s young. My dad will always be in my heart. What I meant to say is to let go of the sadness of his death, instead of letting him go. Planning on spreading his ashes in the ocean soon. He would like that but I have a feeling it's going to be much harder than I think. Once they are gone, his person is gone. The last part of his physical being, gone forever. Take care.

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