lost my mother need to sell her house/the house I grew up in

[taylornm]

I'm 21 I lost my mother when I was 17 she was my best friend in the whole world we had the best realshionship and a mother daughter bond its hard to explain.I always said I'd die without her but now I want to live for her anyway I have no choice but to sell the house we shared and I grew up in I want to sell it and have no choice I can't afford it and I need to move on its been so hard because I feel like once its gone I know she's really gone I never thought it would be this hard because the reason I don't want to live here is I can't move on and need clouser and am miserable but its like once its gone she's really gone any advice or anything would be greatly appreciated

[Trish91]

Hi Taylor,

 

I'm so very sorry not only for you lost your mom at such a young age, but also because you are faced with having to sell the family home, which in some ways is like losing her again. I know it's not rationally so, but I feel and felt the same about any remaining piece of my mom's belongings.

 

I had to sell my mom's apartment two months after her passing, and also give away plenty of her possessions, as I live on the other side of the world, very far away from America, and could only manage to bring certain things with me (some jewelry, most of the pictures, some clothing and my mom's hairbrush with some of her hair still in it). I wish I never had to let go of any of her things, never, for they still had her scent and her touch, but I had no choice, and in some way, it kept me occupied during the first two months of so much pain and shock, while I was away from my niece, nephew, brother and husband, and even from my dad, who lived in a different city to my mom's.

 

Nowadays, however; I could not really part with any more of her things, for part of me truly feels like I'm letting go of her and her memory, even though I rationalize it as those being just things, and if I could let my mom go and her body be cremated, how could I still be so attached to material stuff?

 

Our minds and hearts try to find ways to survive, but the reality is that our moms are and will always be with us, until we meet again in a different 'dimension' where they're now free from all pain and suffering, and that they truly want us to live our lives and follow our own paths, and if that means letting go of your house in order to study or continue progressing with your life, I'm sure that's what you need to do and what your mom would want you to do.

 

I sincerely hope that you have some really good friends and other family who can support you through this really tough situation, as it will no doubt be very hard, but if you can get some assistance, it will be a bit easier to have to go through the process.

 

I got some help from my dad, and my mom's sisters and brothers, but the bulk of the work and the pain was mine, and I know that I could not have gone through that without my mom's love and support, for I believe that, in spirit, she was really giving me the strength and guidance that I needed to get it done.

 

I wish you all the best, and if you need to talk and rant, please continue to do so on this forum, where there are lots of young people, who, like you, have lost her mom and even both parents, so please reach out to them, or write me whenever you wish.. I'm much older than you, in my thirties, but although I cannot offer any magical words, I can still listen, and I can fully empathize and sympathize with what you are going through, for losing my mom is and has been the most difficult thing that I have ever had to face in my entire life.

 

Warm regards,

 

Trish