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Having a bad day


sim-law

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Having a bad day.

It took most of our lives to find each other and in a flash its all gone and I am left to grieve alone with images of what might have been filling my head. Sometimes I just cant stand it anymore.

Questioning Existence

Will enough tears ever fall to fill this void
will there ever be so much pain
that nothing hurts me anymore
as my soul cries

there is no end to suffering
as there is no reason for hope
heaven couldn’t wait for my love
but it waits for me

can I still live
do I even want to
is death the end of all hope
the end of all possibilities

Does my soulmate wait
or is it human delusion
why suffer without hope
and my soul cries.

Sorry to be so depressing, I was always the cheerful optimist in my past life.
 

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Sorry you were having a bad day.  It's hard to be the cheerful optimist when your world goes dark.  Your words express the hopelessness that most of us feel most of the time I think.  However, I can say that as time passes, I experience more happy moments.  The pain of loss lessens for a while and life becomes more bearable at those times.  I hope you are having a better day today.

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I am here to tell you that it really does get better.  I'm at a year and a half and in the beginning all I wanted was to die and be with my love.  I was sad, depressed, hopeless, dark.  While I still miss my husband terribly and still have days where I cry, I promise you, it is going to get easier.  Happiness will sneak back in.  Sadness is replaced with happy memories.  Tears turn to smiles.  I can't say that this will happen for everybody but it is happening for me and I never thought it would.  Bad days are always going to happen, just do your best to get through them.

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Another Saturday night Another bad day alone, just hope for peace.

Expressed better here:

"Fade To Black"

Life, it seems, will fade away

Drifting further every day

Getting lost within myself

Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live

Simply nothing more to give

There is nothing more for me

Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be

Missing one inside of me

Deathly lost, this can't be real

Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me

To the point of agony

Growing darkness taking dawn

I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late

Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed

Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye

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Listening to this is probably a mistake, I am looking for some more uplifting music, maybe ceilidh would be good. Any suggestions for spiritually and emotionally uplifting music would be gratefully received, my tastes are very eclectic.

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I have yet to find any music that really lifts me up.  I "feel" music and I think that those of us who do have more trouble listening to it than those who just hear it.  Everything in my life is wrapped around music and it just brings back memories that are always sad for some reason.  I do listen, don't get me wrong, but it always takes me to memories of Jerry...always.  And it gets sad, even happy songs will make me sad.

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alwaysmrsfersch

I can't really listen to any sort of music without crying, so I've taken to finding parodies of Disney songs. If you want a good laugh find the parody of "do you want to build a snowman?" Called "do you wanna hide a body?"

somehow my four year old niece knows this song, she's had me laughing for days at it.

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Very sorry for your loss. A word you used struck me right away, a word I find myself going back to" suffering". I've used it myself many times since my wife passed, it seems more appropriate or more accurate. It feels , to me anyway, that grieving is not a strong enough word for what this is, this specific pain. Best of luck.  

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