Grieving about the loss of my mom

[Bri.Comp]

My mom passed away two months ago after a three year long battle with breast cancer. Her cancer results got better and worse over the three years and we kind of knew there was no cure obviously but that doesn't make it any easier. For the first couple weeks I was okay I think just shock not real sure how I didn't cry or really seem upset I guess it was the xanax. But recently its been unbearable I can't even go an hour without crying I cry at home work the supermarket everywhere. It literally feels like I was asleep for the last two months and woke up and realized she was gone.

[cindyjane]

I am so sorry about the loss of your mom.  Everyone grieves different.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  I lost my mom last October and some days when I miss her and think about her I feel happy inside and so grateful to have had her for my mom.  Other days the tears flow and I feel so sad.  I would suggest to just go with your feelings and try not to figure out this grieving thing ... the bottom line is that you miss your mom terribly and that hurts and is going to hurt.  We'll always miss our moms but I believe that as time goes on it does get easier.  Take care

 

Cindy

[Squeege]

((((hugs)))))

I feel the same.  My Dad passed 12 May this year and I cry constantly.  Yet other family members don't at all.  Grief is such a personal thing.  I feel your loss, losing a parent is so very painful

[lemc87]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom in October 2013 and have been struggling since. I cried a lot leading up to her funeral, but I didn't really cry much during her service. I felt numb and that's how I grieved for months afterwards. I didn't want to face it because I didn't want to believe she was really gone.

 

Take it one day at a time. That's all you can do. I still have bad days, but I try hard to think about the good times I had with her. That's what's helped me so far. When I think of her, I think of her laugh, smile, the way she loved her kids unconditionally, and how happy she would be if she were here right now.  

 

 

[GrievingRose]

Hi. I am new to the forum. Im very sorry to read about everyone's sadness. I lost my mom 10 days ago. She was diagnosed with cancer a month and a half ago. She was due to start chemo 3 days after she passed. We were so confident that she would be ok. She died very unexpectedly at my house, after a very nice day where we went out to visit family, spent the afternoon playing with my daughters, whom she adored, had dinner and laughed. She just woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air, asked for help (my oldest daughter woke my husband and I up), and after just a few minutes she was gone. Before the ambulance got here. I could not believe it. Everyone has been telling me that God was merciful with her, took her before she had to suffer. When I think about, that last day we had together was a perfect 'last day' to live. But, it is sooo difficult. We were SO close. We wolud text each other all the time, see each other all the time. I would call her to let her know about any new thing our youngest daughter had done that day. Everything, every little thing I would share with my mom.

I feel an overwhelming sadness. Feel a void in my heart that cannot be filled, even though I have a beautiful family and great friends that support me.

I lost my father 2 and a half years ago. He had a massive heart attack. Losing him was so tough. I began having panic attacks and very crippling anxiety. I'm still suffering from it.

In December 2008 I lost my brother to suicide. He was 29 and 2 years older than me.

Every loss is harder than the other.

I feel so lost, so alone in my pain.

[Squeege]

GrievingRose

My heart goes out to you.  You've had so much loss to deal with.  Perhaps those of us who've lost parents recently can support each other through this?  My heart is so broken over the death of my Dad, as yours is with your Mum.  They say times helps .... ?

[GrievingRose]

Thank you for your reply Squeege. It does help a lot to know that someone out there understands how you're feeling. I'm sure time does help ease the pain a little. But it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're feeling so low. I feel as if everybody has moved on and I'm left alone. At first I was surrownded by people, now I guess people thinks enough time has passed, but I still feel desperate.

[Squeege]

I know exactly what you mean.  People go to the funeral and then get on with their lives and we're left feeling so completely alone.  I have anger towards some friends who have literally just disappeared, not even a text to say "hey how are you?"  It's shocking to me, I would never do that to them.  It feels so wrong for the world to just continue on as normal when it's so NOT normal or right, you know?  I feel like screaming "don't you know my Dad is DEAD!!? How can the world just keep spinning like nothing happened!?" Sadly a lot of people are all words as well "Anything you need, I'll be there" "Call me anytime, I'm here for you" .... just words.  That's why it's really good to have a place like this to vent it all, warts and all, without judgement.  Hell I had one person say to me 5 weeks after my Dad died, and I was saying I missed him "oh if this goes on much longer you better see a grief counsellor"  bloody ridiculous, some people just cannot deal with other peoples emotions.

[Sbelavek]

I'm sorry for everyone's losses. It's just a horrible thing to have to endure. I lost my mom on 7/9/2014 when I was 33 weeks pregnant. Due to deliver in 13 days and I'm not the least bit excited, which is really sad. My grief is just too great. Tomorrow it will be one month since she's passed. I just started cooking dinner for my family again and today is the first day I haven't cried. It feels strange to feel almost "normal" today. I'm waiting for it to hit me hard again.

Her funeral services destroyed me. Like some of you mentioned above, as much as you "know" it will happen because the illness is terminal, you can never be truly prepared for the moment. If only I could give her one more hug.