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She jumped from an overpass....


Jennifer71

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7 weeks ago my Mom was on a day pass from the psychiatric ward of our local hospital. She was deep in a depressive state from her Bipolar Illness. She was showing signs of psychosis. She has never been suicidal or talked about suicide. I work at the same hospital and drove her home that afternoon. We, my sister and Dad, thought maybe a day at home would be good for her. I stayed with her and my Dad for a few hours until my Mom fell asleep on the couch. I told my Dad 'Id head home and call in 1 hour to see how things were going. She was dead within that hour. My Dad left her asleep on the couch and went into the computer room. She got up from the couch, got into the car (which she was just telling me earlier that she couldn't drive because she felt so bad and any errands I said I would gladly do for her) and drove a short way from her home. She crashed into a tree. Got out, and with her purse in her hand, climbed the hill and jumped from the overpass. We are all stunned and in complete despair. Its my fault for driving her away from the hospital but I trusted that the Dr's knew best. Nothing makes sense. The world is a fog. I simply wander around in the broken, shattered pieces of the foundation that was my life. It is, quite simply, the end of the world....

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I am truly sorry for your lost. But be strong for your family and your dad. Don't blame yourself because it's not your fault. She was depressed and wasn't in the right set of mind. May she rest in peace.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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dayzed and confused

Jennifer71,

 

I cannot believe your story! The shock, guilt and pain is evident in your post.  I hope that you have a good support network to help you through this crazy time.  I know you may want to be there for everyone else, but please, please take care of yourself. Let yourself grieve and feel all the anguish and anger and craziness that you need to in order to begin healing. 

 

I wish I had more words to comfort you.  I think it's great that you posted on here, and I hope you find the community to be as helpful, kind and nurturing as I have. 

 

Keeping you in my prayers,

Tina

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I am so sorry for your loss :( it's so hard to deal with a suicide, my dad committed suicide in February 2014 (almost 6months ago) and it was the hardest day of my life! I felt also a lot of anger and guilt! But as they say that times the best healer and at first you think it's a lie but it's true. Time is the best healer for grief... Although I believe that we grieve for our loved ones forever but we just learn to live with the grief we have for them <3

I hope you are well and know that you couldn't have stopped what happened so don't feel the guilt, always let people help you and support you! *hugs*

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(((Jennifer))) I am so sorry about your loss.  PLEASE don't blame yourself for what happened with your mom.  I have worked in psychiatry for almost 3 decades and no-one ... I mean no-one can predict something like this.  Even the doctors who know much about this illness could not know this would happen.  Your heart was so in the right place in taking her home for a day pass.  That is what I hope you can put your thoughts on....just being a loving daughter who cared about your mom.  Take care.

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