Some Days are Tough

[Iceman]

Just found this site.  Which is good as some days are very difficult.  I lost my youngest son two years ago from a accident.  I lost my only brother just a little over a year ago.  I lost a daughter exactly a year ago and I lost a son on this last thanksgiving.  

 

I had looked for a group here in Port Angeles, but couldn't find any.  So I've just struggled with things on a daily basis. My youngest son was unexpected, My brother went very quickly, but we knew it was inevitable.  My daughter was completely unexpected and my other son spent a year fight lymphoma.

 

I'm not a young person but all of my loved ones were far too young to have their lives cut so short.  I'm really missing them and so often think of the wonderful things we did together and I miss them so much.  Some of the dreams are really disturbing and I wake up believing they are still here.

 

Anyway: that's about all for now.  I think I'll just read a few post.  Thanks.

[Heartlight]

Hi Iceman,

 

I can't even imagine what you must be struggling with.  With just the loss of my sister and my father, I have been a basket case so I have great admiration that you can be as coherent as you are with all the loss you are having to endure.

 

I hope that you can find something within this site that can help you make it through each day, and maybe even help you to understand your dreams or different parts of what you're going through.

 

I just noticed in the Parents section that Bella started a thread about forgetting that her mother is gone and someone answered saying it was happening to her, as well.  For myself, I have had dreams of both my sister and my dad, dreams where I am interacting with them as if they were still here and, when I wake up, I sometimes have to relive the shock over again that they aren't.  Depending on how well I am emotionally, is how well I handle that waking moment.

 

With so much recent loss that you have gone through, it seems to me that it would be infinitely normal to be having confusing dreams, or, truthfully, I wouldn't be surprised if you were having raging or vengeful dreams.  The entire scope of human emotion and behavior can be triggered in grief and with so much loss in your life, I would find anything that you said to be normal.

 

It's just little things like this that I have noticed can sometimes help, just expressing yourself and knowing you're not alone in any craziness that can be felt when you're grieving.  And really, it's not much, really, because nothing can change the truth.  But when you have nothing, when you have a bereft soul, sometimes this tiny morsel of fellowship means the world to carrying on another day.

 

I am glad when anyone feels comfortable enough to write and reach out in the forums, even if it's just once or even if they decide to use it as a place to express themselves, or to only express by answering others, or taking part in chat exclusively or just reading, it's all a part of helping ourselves reconnect with ourselves, little by little, and allowing ourselves to mourn and the process of grief to happen with hopefully a tiny bit more balance.

 

So I do welcome you to the forum, Iceman.  I hope you use it in exactly the way you need to, to help you as much as is possible in your daily struggles.

 

<3